January 28, 2021
This morning I woke up feeling rather glum.
My mood was rather mysterious given that, as of a few hours previous (at midnight), I’d completed a 14-day ‘No Sugar, No Alcohol’ challenge. Yay for me! After the self-indulgent, guilt-free Christmas season filled with lots of sugary treats (no sugar plums, but truffles, rum balls, stollen and a yule log instead), I wholeheartedly accepted this challenge put forth by a girlfriend. Accountability was needed. Goodness knows I wasn’t being terribly effective doing it on my own!
After 14 days, I do feel quite a difference. My mind is incredibly clear and I’ve been sleeping like a log. Combined with doing home workouts on a regular basis, the result is a much more focused personality along with a slightly more toned physique. Oh yes, and I’ve been reading in bed at night instead of looking at a screen!
Bit by bit, I’m feeling less like a bumbling elephant in a confined space and more like a lithe cheetah cruising the Serengeti. Okay, that may be a bit of a stretch, but progress, nonetheless, was made. I’m inspired to continue and hope to see even greater improvements over the next two weeks.The hurdle has been hurdled over! I’m on the other side and feel confident in my ability to carry on in this manner. Those love-handles and jiggly thighs will be gone in no time!
Full confession, I did treat myself to some chocolate today. It wasn’t as satisfying as I thought it would be. More importantly, with just a little bit of sugar in my system, my heart rate went up. Who needs that? With these less than appealing effects, it will be easy to get back on the wagon tomorrow and regain my focus.
Then why, after such positive results, should I feel glum?
As my body becomes more accustomed to moving, and feeling less cumbersome in those movements, it’s impossible to ignore one very specific physical impediment that has kept me fairly immobile. Last month, the doctor diagnosed my sore toe as a stress fracture.
Back in the summer, during my annual pilgrimage to the Rockies for work, I began to notice a weird twinge in my left foot. The twinge didn’t stop me from hiking many, many miles in the alpine, and I did notice that my foot was always quite sore by the time I got back off the trail. I finally saw a doctor in October, who sent me for x-rays and a bone scan. The diagnosis came early in December: stress fracture of the 4th metatarsal. Immediately, my foot was placed in a walking boot to take stress off my stress fracture and I was referred to a local orthopedic professional.
Given the state of the world right now, and demands upon the medical community, it should be no surprise that appointments of any kind take a while to schedule. I’m still waiting for my appointment with this next doctor. Frustration grows daily; I’m beginning to feel disheartened. I’ve been injured for six months and have yet to talk to the medical person who can help get this toe fixed!
I fully admit this morning I held a grand ole pity party for myself! What is it going to take? How much longer till this stupid little toe will heal? Friends have told me that it could take weeks, even months. Well, it’s been months and I see hardly any progress. Aarrgg! I want to be back on the trails, breathing fresh air, spending time snowshoeing and wandering in the forest. Is that so much to ask? Plus, I want to be in tip top shape by the time I return to the Rockies in May.
After venting my frustrations this afternoon with a girlfriend via text, my entire situation was squarely put into perspective. While yes, I do have an injury that requires patience to heal, it is nothing compared to another friend who received a cancer diagnosis earlier in the week.
Slam on the brakes.
Through the kind words of a girlfriend, my world starkly came back into perspective. Besides a toe that has a small boo-boo, I really have nothing to complain about. I have a comfortable roof over my head, food in my cupboards and fridge, a job that I love that puts money in the bank; I have family, friends and live in a stable part of the world, in a country that does take care of me. I have absolutely no reason to feel sorry for myself.
At a time in our history that challenges each and every one of us, sometimes on completely different levels, it’s a good reminder to keep ourselves in check. On a daily basis, let’s remind ourselves of all the amazing and wondrous aspects of our lives, big and small. Give those elements more importance when taking inventory at the end of the day. Let the good outweigh the bad.
At a point in my life, several years ago, I vowed to myself to find beauty each and every day. That symbol of beauty, whether it was the scent of a rose, a raindrop on a leaf or a bird call in the forest, kept me grounded and focused on what mattered most to me. It gave me strength. It’s time to start finding beauty again on a daily basis to keep the disenchanted emotions at bay.
Tonight, I will put away the chocolate and feelings of frustration. Neither are needed. Both bring me down.
Tomorrow, I’ll get out with my camera and search out a symbol of beauty. I hope you will, too.
Happy Thursday, everyone.