July 18, 2024
Today is a significant day for me. And I fully appreciate that no one else likely understands why. I wouldn’t expect them to. It’s not so much that today is a Thursday. In fact, the day of the week has no relevance, whatsoever. But ten years ago today, at approximately 11 o’clock in the morning, my world shifted in a monumental way. On that perfectly lovely Squamish morning, in the middle of July, I irreversibly altered the very fabric of my family’s existence. July 18, 2014 was the day my family of five became a family of four. Standing in the sunshine that day, with a gentle breeze blowing wisps of hair around my tanned face, I looked my (then) husband in the eye and declared I could no longer live with him. With a shaking voice, I stated I could no longer live with the man whose behaviour had become so unpredictable (yet too predictable in many other ways). I essentially said I’d had enough of being the focus of his bad moods and bad perspectives and all the turmoil in our lives. At the end of that fateful conversation, he walked down the street, alone, in one direction, while I walked, with head held high, in the opposite direction. By standing my ground, by standing up (finally) for Me, I pulled the proverbial rug out from under his feet, turning his world instantly upside down yet, at the same instant, landing myself, and my three cherished children, on the most solid ground we could ever have hoped to stand. It’s easy with words, in a couple of sentences, to make a gruelling and heart-wrenching process seem so effortless. But let me tell you, the past ten years have been anything but easy. The emotional reckoning and healing was, at times, excruciating. At other times, heartbreaking and soul-wounding. Lots of anger was felt and many, many, many tears were shed. But through it all, I had (and continue to have) the overwhelming joy of being a constantly available mother for my three adult children, with a string of absolutely amazing girlfriends at the ready. From my own side of the family, from my parents and older sister, I’ve received only unquestioning love and support. Besides the angst, the past decade has also been a thrilling ride of freedom, self-discovery and self-fulfillment. I know for certain what makes me happy and most definitely know when to draw the line in the sand. Putting it simply, I don’t take anything, from anyone, anymore. But most of the time, I try to smile and laugh as much as possible because Life really is just so awesomely beautiful and wonderful. In recognition of all that transpired since this day in 2014, I’m going to do nice things for myself. My toenails need a fresh coat of fire-engine red polish and I definitely need to get into the lake for a swim (or two, or three). Somewhere, at some point, there will no doubt be a glass of wine and some chocolate, too! Happy 10th Anniversary to Me! Here’s to what Life will offer up in the future. P.S. Couldn't resist including more photos from last month's Rocky Mountain holiday!
1 Comment
Adrian van Fraassen
7/26/2024 08:59:48 am
Hi Deborah, I am wishing you all the best on this journey. I remember when I found your blog two or three years ago and I do check back to read your new posts. Even though I only stayed with you for a short time, it was very memorable. I am going back to Oahu in September; I wanted to go back and see it again and hopefully it will be a good visit. Regarding your book and your public speaking, I wondered if it might be helpful to reach out to Julie Angus, I believe you had met her before? I think she would have publishing and speaking experience and might want to hear from you again. Other than that, I am also planning a camel trip in Tunisia next January, and living with my Mom and working at the library in the meantime.
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AuthorLife comes into focus when hiking on a trail. Nature always provides the answer. Archives
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